Travel Log 11-14: And On A More Personal Note...

     While my personal modesty and some issues from my childhood (trust me that is a place you sooo don't want me to go) I have  been avoiding posting anything really personal about my own spiritual beliefs or practices. I intend to change that.
      It may seem strange to some, but just being on here for a year and openly posting that I am a witch is a big step for me. Now it's time to take another step. Hopefully eventually I can be as open a person as many of you wonderful people are in our little blog world here. A lot of you are very secure in yourselves and very generous in your sharing of your personal practices and moments with the rest of us. And I realized recently that while a lot of people share traits in what they do, none are exactly the same. They all have their own flair and feel to what they do, and I have gotten ideas and helpful tips just reading about what they do. But kind of like a voyeur I have not shared in return and as such I have not given back to this pool of knowledge that I keep dipping out of.
    There are a lot of reasons for that, but mainly it's because I'm scared. Scared that what I do won't be considered valid, fear that others will think I'm not "authentic" or that I'm just some sort of poser. And I realized recently that those fears are just down right ridiculous. I am who and what I am. I feel what I feel and practice how I practice, and someone may find something of worth that they can use for themselves in what I do, so I am bound by my willingness to learn to offer what I have learned so that others may use or discard it as they need. ( and yeah, that sounded pompous didn't  it, lol)
     So here is a little of what I do.
  
     I am not big on ritual. I am way too self conscious to be able to pull it off with conviction and while it works awesome for some people, that very self-conciousness keeps me from being able to focus on the task at hand so to speak.
    So what I have developed is my own form of energy work. To me divinity is a huge pool of energy, and everything has a piece of that, and is connected to that. I can't see "auras" as they are sometimes called, but I can feel the energy itself inherent in living things. To me it's like feeling the worlds heart beat. Usually my work consists of a focusing agent (usually a candle) and a deep meditative trance.
      Once I am seated I take some deep breaths and then center myself. By this I mean I pull all my own energy back into myself and hold it in the center of my being ( for me this is just below my sternum, but I think its a fairly subjective thing). Then I light my candle ( I tend to use jar candles as it allows me to pick up and move the candle while lit with minimal heat  and spilled wax issues). I take a moment to connect with the energy in the little candle flame and recognize and thank it.  I don't, on the whole work with the elements as separate entities or personalities, but if I am physically using one while I work I do like to say thank you.
      In terms of the elements I tend to have an "all are one" sense of them. Each drop of water contains the same energy as a crashing wave, or  a still deep pool. Each flame holds the warmth of a hearth fire and the destructive power of a forest fire. To me it is essential when I approach any of the elements that I recognize what they are as a whole, helpful and destructive.
      Once I have thanked the fire I let my own energy release and spread out as far as it will go, until it touches what I feel is the "dominant" energy. For me this is dependent on the time of day. If it is daylight out and the moon has not risen then that would be the sun. Or if it's night time it's the moon, or sometimes the stars. That's when I let myself drop into a meditative trance. Then I pull myself back until my energy forms a protective globe around me that will filter everything that comes through and only allow positive energy to pass (sometimes I ask for help from other trusted energy sources with this).
       I invite that "dominant" energy to pour itself into me, as if I were an empty jug that needed filling. I visualize that energy as sunlight, or moonlight, pouring in like a thick syrup until they fill all the way up to the top of my head. Then I visualize a thin line of energy pouring from that source into me and refilling as I need it.
     That's when I start to focus that energy filling me up towards whatever I need. I build that energy layer by layer into a ball between my hands, then once I feel it's built up enough I release it back out so that it can go where it can make my will happen. I allow for a trailing line of energy that connects to the divine power source using me as a conduit, so it will continue to have enough energy to get what I need accomplished.
      Then I send my thanks out to that divinity and pull myself out of the trance.
      The last thing I do is thank the candle flame again and put the lid on the jar, saying good bye (this is also a reason I use jar candles, it allows the flame to "put itself out" rather than me snuffing it). One last stretch and I get up and put my candle away.

That's what I do for a normal focused working.
    Lately I've been doing some unfocused meditations that have brought me some interesting insights and I'll post those another time.
    Thank you for bothering to read this all the way, and hopefully I won't actually die of embarrassment or delete this later..

Travel Log 11-12: My Current Obsessions

 Well everyone, I have been obsessively working on artwork lately. I even revamped my profile pic, even though most wouldn't notice the difference. I've been doing a trial on a new to me digital art program called Corel Painter. This thing rocks! Like seriously, all it needs is face paint and it's filling in for KISS...ahem, I digress, lol.
    Here's an example-
My profile pic before (done entirely in microsoft paint if you can believe it):

and here is the new revamped one (which includes the switch from my natural hair color to my current choice)

It took me about half the time to do the new one.
    Now I'm working on the artwork for our Christmas cards, which is awesome because  I have wanted to do that for years but never had the equipment.
    But other than artwork I have taken on my first turkey this past week (alright it was a turkey breast, but hey, never even tried that before!) and it was a pretty good run. The only hiccup was that I freaked out about the meat being pink and put it in for a half hour longer until I checked the USDA website and found out it's ok, lol. What's the holidays without a little fear of food poisoning?
     Doing trial runs on all the new recipes for thanksgiving and so far they have all worked. Going to try and roast a pork loin in my new electric roasting pan this weekend.And I should have pictures of rolls too as I am going to do another batch tonight! I'll also be posting a blog on meditation a little later. If I'm going to use this blog as an online diary of sorts then I need to start recording some of my spiritual experiences here as well, so bear with me =D.

Travel Log 11-9: And Now For Something Completely Different..

Ok, not so very different, but I couldn't think of a title (it happens to the best of us how do you think they got The Iceman Cometh?).I've been hitting up the after Halloween sales and I found something I just had to share!
    This is my new computer companion-

She sits on top of my scanner and watches me surf the web and of course peruse all of your blogs!
She shares her spot with Iron Man (because who would be better to ward of tech problems I ask you).

I got a few other goodies, but she is by far my favorite!
   My sweet hubby also got me the scanner/copier/printer so she has an even posher spot to rest.
   This weekend marked my first foray into the strange and cryptic world of yeast. This is a place I haven't so much feared to tread, but have been wary to broach (wary, yes wary, cause a grown woman shouldn't be scared spitless of a little packet of powder). But this weekend I rolled up my sleeves and went for it. I started simple and made my first set of from scratch rolls. They were Honey Wheat rolls and I knotted them and made them look all pretty and everything.
     I would have pictures except by the time I went and got the camera and came back half of them were gone and my husband and the evil midgets (some people call these mischievous fae "kids" or "children" but I calls 'em like I see's 'em) were all conspicuously not in the kitchen and when questioned had sworn that they were all in another town sitting quietly and definitely NOT touching the rolls at the time of the disappearance. So I have no pictures, but I hope to do another set in a day or so (they take overnight to rise) and then I shall have the camera ready.
    I can't wait to try other types of bread! Jaz over at Octoberfarm has some awesome no-knead recipes that I  have been dying to try so now all I need to do is get a clay pot like she has and I'm on it!

Travel Log 11-8-2: Cause I'm Totally Late To The Party...

I just found out about the Bloggerette Sorority and am posting this because I really really want to join (can you tell that I wasn't in one in college? lol). So if you're not part of it then check it out here, and if you are I hope I get to join you!

Travel Log 11-6: I've Been Productive

Well today has been a really productive day. Been out and done all the shopping, opened up and played with- uh I mean used, my birthday presents. I was lucky enough to get a pressure canner and an electric roaster for my birthday and I currently have some spaghetti sauce canning and a roast making my mouth water. It's been a good day, when I get the pics downloaded I'll be sure to post them. Working on a few ideas for home made christmas presents for the adults in our life this year. We've been doing so well starting to do most stuff home made and I want to kinda show it off to family and friends. Oh and don't forget to enter the Giveaway that the lovely people over at CSN stortes have been kind enough to sponsor! Click here and get your entry in!

Travel Log 11-2: And Now for a Very Important Note....

...get out there and vote!
     I am not, on the whole, a political person. It all just irritates the hell out of me and makes me want to put all those pundits and elected officials in a room with bears that missed lunch. But for those of us who live here in the good 'ol US of A this is the time to get up off our butts and say something (albeit anonymously in a closed booth, that like by law no one can see into...but anyway it IS speaking up!). Of course there are a lot of people who don't, and usually they are the sane and reasonable people- because most sane people look at our political choices and want to run screaming in the opposite direction, cause well, they are sane and reasonable people. But I digress.
      The point is that unless we use our voice we cannot be heard.
     As a card carrying pagan (hey, if something is around long enough SOMEONE will give out cards for it...) I am in a marginalized and generally discounted minority. Yes there are a lot of us but we are not orginized, nor are we cohesive. Also quite a few of our numbers are in situations that do not allow them to freely express their religious affilitations, which sucks but hey it happens to the best of us. So how do we a) get a voice, and b) make sure that it is used to advance our situation and protect our rights?
VOTE!
     Voting is annonymous and it's only beneficial. It only takes a few minutes, and it's a way that all of us can help to back up those groups that are out there fighting for our rights and standing on the front lines getting hit with the crazy stick that a lot of the right wingers seem to carry about there person somewhere.
     There are tons of websites out there that list the candidates and what they stand for, and what voices they are going to listen to.
     So today instead of getting up in arms because someone has called us satanic, or crazy, or has put in-appropriate art work somewhere,  let's hit 'em where it hurts- in the votes!

Travel Log 11-1: Oh What A Time We Had

Sorry for the absence right after meeting some of you but this weekend, besides being All Hallow's Eve, was also the first time my best friend has gotten to visit me in about 2 years. She moved up to Washington state about 6 years ago and I have missed her like crazy. So we were a bit crazy, what with all the running amok and all. Unfortunately no governments were toppled or mayhem mayhammed (is that even a word? Well now it is!). But we had a lot of fun and I am still exhausted from last night.
     She talked me and the hubby into spending our 5year anniversary (yup, married on Halloween) at a local venue for a Rockabilly show headlining with the Horrorpops. We didn't know much about the genre (don't I sound all artsy and stuff- genre...g-en-re, just saying it makes me feel more cultured, lol) but we got a quick education last night. And it was great! I now have a bunch of bands to research and for those of you who may know who they are we saw The Muertones, Resurex, FOF, The Horrorpops, and the Necromantix made a surprise appearance. What was great was the 3 classic hearses lined up in front of the show. It was awesome!
     Unfortunately the conversation that happened on the way back to the car was "we are too old for this shit" "my back is killing me" and "what ever made me wear the platform leather thigh high boots?"  But hey, what are friends for except to show you that you are waaaay past your prime.
Hopefully she will get the pictures loaded up quick and I'll toss some on here!
     Since I'm feeling uber cool and all sock hopper-ish (also now a word! I'm going to start my own dictionary soon..) instead of saying good bye I'll just catch y'all on the flipside!