Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Travel Log 7-12: I think I may be Going Insane..

  I know, I know- going? Lol. 
    You see, when I was younger I had a plan for my life. I was going to grow up to be Perry Mason. That was the plan. I was going to be a lawyer and solve crimes and generally drive a really cool car. I stuck with that plan from age 4 until 5th grade (pretty long for a kid, huh?). That's when the establishment came crashing down on me. See my parents had put me in a private school that they thought was going to be great (because it was a private school and they are from the generation that all private schools are inherently better because you have to pay for them), but it wasn't. It was a progressive school that pretty much used all us little learners as guinea pigs to try out new ideas in teaching and early cognitive development. So while while my parents were being dazzled with tales of how I was mastering calculus (something that personally terrifies my father), I wasn't being taught to multiply or divide.
   After a couple years of this I realize that I need to have grades recorded in order to get into the college I wanted (yes I was a 3rd grade thinking of this- I was weird) and finally convinced my parents to send me to a public school for at least 2 years to establish a gpa (I have no idea why my parents didn't get me psych eval'd when as a 8 year old I was tossing those terms around, lol) so that I could look better on college applications. So I headed off to public school for 5th and 6th grades.
    This is where my plan derailed and took the rest of my undergraduate school career with it. I flunked math. I was devastated.  I continued to flunk math all the way through. I was a 5th grader who couldn't multiply or divide the way they wanted. I was considered so far behind that the teachers really didn't even bother with me.
   So I gave up. I coasted my way through the rest of my schooling and then proceeded to pick the least higher math related tech program I could find for my first foray into college. That didn't work out and I later went back for an AS in Respiratory Therapy. That was really intense and took some serious commitment but I got through it with a 3.4 gpa- the best of my life.
   And now I'm looking at picking up my original plan and going back to get a 4 year degree as a ramp up to law school. I'm over 30, have 4 kids- 2 of which aren't in school yet. I haven't been in school since 2004. That's 7 years! I am trying to work on a novel and a nonfiction offering, as well as getting everything in order to buy a house sometime in the next 2 years. But deep down I really want to do this, and I can't think of a time that is going to be better to get started on this. Life is always going to be there and if I really want this then I need to buckle down and get my butt in gear. It's just a little extra work and stress, right?
    I must be going insane.