Travel Log 8-16: The Abyss

"And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. "
Friedrich Nietzsche

      I think that we have all stared a bit too long into the abyss, and now it is looking back at us and organizing.
  If you are not familiar with the NAR (New Aposolitic Reformation- and I will not link to that filth on this page) go check out this awesome post by AmethJera at Broom With A View or check out just about anything on the Wild Hunt lately.
   It would appear ladies and gentlemen that we are at war and never even got to do anything to start it. And unfortunately this one isn't going to play out on online chat boards where we can all snark our way into scoring points. Apparently for once some of the crazies are taking the fight to our home ground so to speak. We, the spiritualist and witches, are going to be attacked on the spiritual level. They have even given us the dates that they will do this and what intent they are going to focus on! We are going to be faced with a full frontal assault of a cosmic nature targeted at ourselves, our government, and even at the gods and godesses that sustain our lands all at, according to some people that seem to be foaming at the mouth, the  behest of a god that has been able to inspire frenzied loyalty.
     There has been a lot of debate flying about as to how, or if, the pagan community should respond to this. Personally I can't imagine letting something like this go, and (this is only my opinion here) not responding in some way smacks of fear and hubris. I have found in my life that the universe helps those who help themselves. I have never gained anything from sitting back and hoping someone or something handles things for me. I will be doing what I can to help repel and counter these attacks that are going to be made on the spirit of my homeland as well as myself. I can see no other course of action that would be morally acceptable to me. There are a couple of sites helping to try and organize this. So far the best set up one is Hail Columbia. Go check them out and see what you can do to help. Even lighting a protective candle is something. If it helps imagine that you are a Who in Whoville and it's time for you to let out your Yap so that our message can get through-
WE ARE HERE! 

Travel Log 8-9: Wow Is My Plate Full

   You know when you go to a buffet and you keep putting a little of this and a little of that and by the time you're done you've got a heaping plate full? Well that's me for the next few months.
   I've been trying to get my butt motivated to write (since mom passed I have had a hard time picking up anything creative) and decided to do the NANOWRIMO summer camp dealio that they have been doing. Yay me for getting on the finish a full novel band wagon.
    Then I decided that I wasn't going to let my funk keep me from starting college next fall so I went and talked to an admissions councilor for the school I want to go to and found  out that I should have no problems applying and getting accepted as long as I take 2 more general ed classes at my community college. Great, 2 classes no sweat. Except one of them is a math class that I need to have another math class prerequ'ed that I haven't completed yet. And the semester has already started and there is no way for me to get the pre requisite class this late. So now I have to find a way to test into a higher math class than I have ever taken before and math hates me. No seriously, it hates me. So now I have to set up testing and cram 2 years worth of evil Algebra into a couple weeks or it sets me back a whole year on admission.
    Oh and did I mention that I still have 4 kids, 2 of which just started a their school year at a new school, 2 blogs, and a periodical submission to do.
    Yeah I would have to say that my eyes were much bigger than my stomach here, lol. But I can't see what I would choose not to do so it looks like I'll be running around like a madwoman for a few months.

Travel Log 8-3: Chasing Normality

Hello again.
     I'm heading back towards having a routine in my life after my mother's passing. Thank you all for all your kind words and thoughts.I'm sorry I kinda ran off and hid my head in the sand but truthfully I never really prepared myself for this. My parents were in their fifties when they adopted me, so I've spent a lot of my life looking at the reality that they will die sooner rather than later, but we all had been preparing ourselves for my father passing first. He's the one who has all the health problems. My mom was healthy as a horse (despite her residual nerve damage fro the polio). I've been keeping up with the rest of you on and off (even though I haven't posted so consider me a part time stalker, lol) and I think I have caught up. A special thanks to Yellow Dog Granny- as usual your shots of humor during the week have really helped to pick me up.
     I'm trying to pick up a lot of the projects that I had been working on before all this happened. I announced on Witchy Thrifting a great new thing and I figure I'll fill you guys in too. I've been asked to write a monthly Witchy Thrifting column for PaganPages.org. It's a really cool free ezine for all things pagan and I'm really excited to start writing for them. I had planned to announce that after my first column was turned in my first article, but with my mother's passing that has been put off until this month.
     Also I have been honored to be invited to do an interview for You, Me & Religion this month and it was featured this past weekend so hop over HERE and check it out!
    I really hope all of you (and I know a lot of you have) are keeping up with this DC40 nonsense. This is one of those situations where we are being attacked as a whole community and on our own spiritual 'turf' so to speak. I really hope we can all come together to help deflect this harmful magick that they are looking to cook up against us. I have some ideas on that but that will have to wait for another time.
    Generally I'm finally taking that deep breath in and facing that life is going to go on and it's time to step back on the carousel. I have an appointment with an admissions councilor for CSULA tomorrow and am starting to plan out what I need to do to start school there next fall. I even started participating in the NANOWRIMO summer camp and plan on getting my novel finished by the end of this month (since procrastinating it isn't going to work with everything else I have going on).
    I'm going to have one hectic month, lol, but I need this kind of chaos to keep me from slipping back into a funk.

A very bad day

  I've been absent from here because of family tragedy. Thursday morning my sister and I found our mother in her bed, no longer amongst the living. This has been a huge shock to our family as she was in the best of health. The past few days have been a haze, and I don't know when things will be settling down to normal. She leaves behind my father that needs care as well as my sister who has a mental condition. I am their new caretaker and things are really hectic to say the least. I'll be back when I can think straight.
   Knowing you guys were out there has honestly helped a great deal the past few days, so thank you for your friendship and I hope to be back soon.

Travel Log 7-12: I think I may be Going Insane..

  I know, I know- going? Lol. 
    You see, when I was younger I had a plan for my life. I was going to grow up to be Perry Mason. That was the plan. I was going to be a lawyer and solve crimes and generally drive a really cool car. I stuck with that plan from age 4 until 5th grade (pretty long for a kid, huh?). That's when the establishment came crashing down on me. See my parents had put me in a private school that they thought was going to be great (because it was a private school and they are from the generation that all private schools are inherently better because you have to pay for them), but it wasn't. It was a progressive school that pretty much used all us little learners as guinea pigs to try out new ideas in teaching and early cognitive development. So while while my parents were being dazzled with tales of how I was mastering calculus (something that personally terrifies my father), I wasn't being taught to multiply or divide.
   After a couple years of this I realize that I need to have grades recorded in order to get into the college I wanted (yes I was a 3rd grade thinking of this- I was weird) and finally convinced my parents to send me to a public school for at least 2 years to establish a gpa (I have no idea why my parents didn't get me psych eval'd when as a 8 year old I was tossing those terms around, lol) so that I could look better on college applications. So I headed off to public school for 5th and 6th grades.
    This is where my plan derailed and took the rest of my undergraduate school career with it. I flunked math. I was devastated.  I continued to flunk math all the way through. I was a 5th grader who couldn't multiply or divide the way they wanted. I was considered so far behind that the teachers really didn't even bother with me.
   So I gave up. I coasted my way through the rest of my schooling and then proceeded to pick the least higher math related tech program I could find for my first foray into college. That didn't work out and I later went back for an AS in Respiratory Therapy. That was really intense and took some serious commitment but I got through it with a 3.4 gpa- the best of my life.
   And now I'm looking at picking up my original plan and going back to get a 4 year degree as a ramp up to law school. I'm over 30, have 4 kids- 2 of which aren't in school yet. I haven't been in school since 2004. That's 7 years! I am trying to work on a novel and a nonfiction offering, as well as getting everything in order to buy a house sometime in the next 2 years. But deep down I really want to do this, and I can't think of a time that is going to be better to get started on this. Life is always going to be there and if I really want this then I need to buckle down and get my butt in gear. It's just a little extra work and stress, right?
    I must be going insane.

Travel Log 7-7: After an Extended Holiday Weekend

     I mentioned before that the 4th had some thought percolating in my brain, and I think that after running around playing catch up in blogland has shown me that a lot of you have had similar ideas. I am on the same page with HecateDemeter ( post link HERE) Bishop In The Grove (pot link HERE) and Kallan from the Secret Life Of The American Working Witch (post link HERE). I am very disappointed with the directions that America is currently taking, but I still love and am unswervingly devoted to the ideals that America was founded on.
    I am that person who can't sit through a 4th of July parade or fireworks show without tears. To remember generations of people who not only created an ideal, but then sacrificed in every imaginable way in order for that ideal to survive. It never ceases to draw strong emotions from me. I feel such a strong connection through time to people who suffered for an ideal that our modern world takes completely for granted.
     The 4th always reminds me that the world I live in did not just spring fully formed into being. People created it and cared for it. When I see veterans with silver hair and canes marching together under a banner that they are button busting proud to carry I can't help but think of the horror that they have seen and the hells that they have lived through. The loneliness that their families lived through while they were gone and abject terror that they lived with that a man with an envelope would knock on their door and tell them that their loved one was dead. And in a way all of them did die. The person they were when they left died out there in service to us, and their souls won't ever be the same. I can see the line of people that have given their lives and loved ones who wept for them down through the generations all the way back to a group of farmers standing on a hill with muskets facing down the most well trained military force in their world.
    I owe those people a debt. Something that can not truly be repaid but still must be striven for. I owe them the debt of life. I am indebted to live my life to the fullest, and to live that life with honor. To make the world I live in worthy of their sacrifice. The ideals of our country are not dead. We are not dead, and we owe that to those who were willing to give their lives and part of their souls in order for the ideals to live on.
    There are some debts that it is impossible to repay, but I still have to try.

Travel Log 7-5: Two Wheels and Some Explosions

    Well I hope everyone had a great 4th of July weekend! I sure did (there's a post up on Witchy Thrifting with some of my weekend finds!) and it isn't over for me yet. The Hubby has taken a couple days off so we're still on a mini vacation. Sorry I haven't been stalking you guys as much as I normally do but I'll be back to doing that and catching up with everything tonight or tomorrow!
    Besides going to some thrift shops this weekend we've been to a children's museum/water play area, a country style fair, a parade, and today we're off to the beach! We've definitely been busy little bees here.
    The parade was awesome and was lead by a LARGE compliment of motorcycles that had the little guys thoroughly impressed. The whole thing really gave me some things to think about and I'll be popping that into a post once it's done solidifying in my head.
   We also got to see a bunch of fireworks out of our front window (they are very illegal to do personally around here- our state is waaaay too flammable) from a near by display at a high school, so that was kinda cool. The cat's didn't freak out which was really nice because getting scratched by a nervous cat was not on my to do list for the night.
   Well we're off to the land of sand and sea. Enjoy the summer weather while I'm off to face my lifetime nemesis sunburn in a battle to the death.