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I'm no longer a spring chicken as they say. All the signs are there that time, is in fact, marching onward and from all the evidence it's marching right over my backside. I'm not a kid anymore, but am I growing up too much?
I wasn't exactly wild in my youth, but I had my moments. Even 5 years ago I didn't bat an eyelash at marching down the aisle in a red and silver wedding dress with crayola red hair.
So why now am I kinda embarrassed about all the blue not washing out of my hair from Halloween? Why am I looking at my wardrobe and worrying if it looks too 'out there'?
My family says it's great I'm finally growing up, but is that really what I'm doing? Or am I, as a lot of my friends would say, conforming?
Mid thirties housewife is a strange thing for an outsider to be. I spent the majority of the past 3 decades trying to find ways to make not being accepted a personal choice. Now I don't know what I'm trying to do.
Is this what they mean when they talk about midlife crises?
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I so understand what you are saying here! I'm not quite 30 but in the last few years, I have become a step-mom of 2 kids, married a MAN, and hence became a wife... All these roles I never saw myself in back in my college days when I had hot pink hair and a black hoodie full of safety pins and rainbow brite patches.
ReplyDeleteMy parents have all but forgotten that I'm non-christian, non-hetero (despite ending up with a wonderful man) and non-republican. And sometimes I find myself keeping my opinions to myself to keep the peace or toning down my wardrobe because I'm supposed to be "the mom" now. It doesn't help that the teens in the house go "What are you WEARING?" when I try to dress in pre-step-mom clothes. LOL
I know. Is the mom taking over too much? I think I worry about stuff like this just a bit too much.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I have decided to take something that is just for me and do it. I added a ticker onto the ol' blog to keep me writing so that I will finish one of the 7 (My gawdess that's a lot of unfinished thoughts, lol) novels that I have started over the past few years. I took the one that was least finished for some reason. I guess so I could start closer to zero rather than somewhere in the middle, lol.
You guys are scaring me! LOL I'm 29 and just now trying to figure out who I am and breaking away from the mold of what I 'should' do, 'should' wear, 'should not pierce', 'should' earn a normal/mainstream degree, 'should' work an 8-5 job in a cubicle sea. I've finally gotten to the point where I'm about ready to say SCREW YOU. I don't see anything wrong with toning it down a bit, but conforming to the standard 'mom' wife' 30-something'? No way! You are who you are and taking that path will loose who you are. I think a mid-life crises it just a time to reevaluate and confirm that your being true to yourself.
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