Travel Log 7-12: I think I may be Going Insane..

  I know, I know- going? Lol. 
    You see, when I was younger I had a plan for my life. I was going to grow up to be Perry Mason. That was the plan. I was going to be a lawyer and solve crimes and generally drive a really cool car. I stuck with that plan from age 4 until 5th grade (pretty long for a kid, huh?). That's when the establishment came crashing down on me. See my parents had put me in a private school that they thought was going to be great (because it was a private school and they are from the generation that all private schools are inherently better because you have to pay for them), but it wasn't. It was a progressive school that pretty much used all us little learners as guinea pigs to try out new ideas in teaching and early cognitive development. So while while my parents were being dazzled with tales of how I was mastering calculus (something that personally terrifies my father), I wasn't being taught to multiply or divide.
   After a couple years of this I realize that I need to have grades recorded in order to get into the college I wanted (yes I was a 3rd grade thinking of this- I was weird) and finally convinced my parents to send me to a public school for at least 2 years to establish a gpa (I have no idea why my parents didn't get me psych eval'd when as a 8 year old I was tossing those terms around, lol) so that I could look better on college applications. So I headed off to public school for 5th and 6th grades.
    This is where my plan derailed and took the rest of my undergraduate school career with it. I flunked math. I was devastated.  I continued to flunk math all the way through. I was a 5th grader who couldn't multiply or divide the way they wanted. I was considered so far behind that the teachers really didn't even bother with me.
   So I gave up. I coasted my way through the rest of my schooling and then proceeded to pick the least higher math related tech program I could find for my first foray into college. That didn't work out and I later went back for an AS in Respiratory Therapy. That was really intense and took some serious commitment but I got through it with a 3.4 gpa- the best of my life.
   And now I'm looking at picking up my original plan and going back to get a 4 year degree as a ramp up to law school. I'm over 30, have 4 kids- 2 of which aren't in school yet. I haven't been in school since 2004. That's 7 years! I am trying to work on a novel and a nonfiction offering, as well as getting everything in order to buy a house sometime in the next 2 years. But deep down I really want to do this, and I can't think of a time that is going to be better to get started on this. Life is always going to be there and if I really want this then I need to buckle down and get my butt in gear. It's just a little extra work and stress, right?
    I must be going insane.

Travel Log 7-7: After an Extended Holiday Weekend

     I mentioned before that the 4th had some thought percolating in my brain, and I think that after running around playing catch up in blogland has shown me that a lot of you have had similar ideas. I am on the same page with HecateDemeter ( post link HERE) Bishop In The Grove (pot link HERE) and Kallan from the Secret Life Of The American Working Witch (post link HERE). I am very disappointed with the directions that America is currently taking, but I still love and am unswervingly devoted to the ideals that America was founded on.
    I am that person who can't sit through a 4th of July parade or fireworks show without tears. To remember generations of people who not only created an ideal, but then sacrificed in every imaginable way in order for that ideal to survive. It never ceases to draw strong emotions from me. I feel such a strong connection through time to people who suffered for an ideal that our modern world takes completely for granted.
     The 4th always reminds me that the world I live in did not just spring fully formed into being. People created it and cared for it. When I see veterans with silver hair and canes marching together under a banner that they are button busting proud to carry I can't help but think of the horror that they have seen and the hells that they have lived through. The loneliness that their families lived through while they were gone and abject terror that they lived with that a man with an envelope would knock on their door and tell them that their loved one was dead. And in a way all of them did die. The person they were when they left died out there in service to us, and their souls won't ever be the same. I can see the line of people that have given their lives and loved ones who wept for them down through the generations all the way back to a group of farmers standing on a hill with muskets facing down the most well trained military force in their world.
    I owe those people a debt. Something that can not truly be repaid but still must be striven for. I owe them the debt of life. I am indebted to live my life to the fullest, and to live that life with honor. To make the world I live in worthy of their sacrifice. The ideals of our country are not dead. We are not dead, and we owe that to those who were willing to give their lives and part of their souls in order for the ideals to live on.
    There are some debts that it is impossible to repay, but I still have to try.

Travel Log 7-5: Two Wheels and Some Explosions

    Well I hope everyone had a great 4th of July weekend! I sure did (there's a post up on Witchy Thrifting with some of my weekend finds!) and it isn't over for me yet. The Hubby has taken a couple days off so we're still on a mini vacation. Sorry I haven't been stalking you guys as much as I normally do but I'll be back to doing that and catching up with everything tonight or tomorrow!
    Besides going to some thrift shops this weekend we've been to a children's museum/water play area, a country style fair, a parade, and today we're off to the beach! We've definitely been busy little bees here.
    The parade was awesome and was lead by a LARGE compliment of motorcycles that had the little guys thoroughly impressed. The whole thing really gave me some things to think about and I'll be popping that into a post once it's done solidifying in my head.
   We also got to see a bunch of fireworks out of our front window (they are very illegal to do personally around here- our state is waaaay too flammable) from a near by display at a high school, so that was kinda cool. The cat's didn't freak out which was really nice because getting scratched by a nervous cat was not on my to do list for the night.
   Well we're off to the land of sand and sea. Enjoy the summer weather while I'm off to face my lifetime nemesis sunburn in a battle to the death.

Travel Log 6-30:United We Stand, Devided We Fall

  Just recently NotHannah over at Divining Women put up a post that pretty much hit the nail on the head for how I've been feeling about our greater Pagan community lately. With all the very scary things going on in politics lately (admittedly sprinkled with good nuggets such as the latest victory for equal rights in NY) I've been honestly looking at real estate in Canada. It worries me that women are being arrested in Alabama for miscarrying, or that politicians are actually trying to play chicken with our national credit. And lets not even talk about the current crop of republican candidates for President- I may just toss the kids in the car and head for the border.
   All this craziness has really pointed out something that is missing from my peace of mind. A whole in my safety net if you will. There is no where for me to turn as a Pagan to have my rights and freedoms protected or enforced. I am completely at the mercy of police and government agencies that have been proven time and again to not be the most open minded of bodies as a whole. Sure I could go knock on the ACLU's door, but they're currently fighting for women's and voter's rights in a bunch of states so I doubt I would be a priority. That is what worries me. That should something happen I am pretty much on my own because I don't have a large church behind me to get my back so to speak.
    And what is really to blame for that? Why can't we as a community band together to further our group interests? In my opinion it's because we (as a group) are just a little bit too attached to our 'fringe' status. We want to be allowed to do whatever we want without bowing to the societal requirements that build the respect that would give us the validation necessary to go about our business unmolested by legally sanctioned persecution. In essence we want the reward but don't want to have to compromise enough to get the work done that earns the reward. We all want to be seen as sparkling individuals, be respected and accorded all rights. While in a perfect world this would already be and we wouldn't ever have to talk about it, but as I think we are all agreed that this is far from a perfect world.
    Why can't we all unbend enough to accept that we need to be a group, represented by identifiable figureheads that can do interviews and promote our causes in the media? Are we really that afraid that we'll somehow morph into a christian styled church just because we're all grouping together? Or that we won't be able to recognize a power hungry leader and let them run amok?
     I think that this is a discussion that we all as a community need to seriously have with each other. I think that something needs to start being developed so that we have a way to fight these evangelical movements that are attempting to stamp us out like bugs. Between fight or flight I would much rather find a way to fight but none of us can do that on our own. There needs to be a recourse for people other than stay in the broom closet or move.
   Besides I already have to stop myself from saying 'aboot' I really don't want to add 'eh' too.

Travel Log 6-27: We're Not Made of Jello! We Get Behind A Fellow!

 .......Black and Yellow!

    Ok, so I watched The Bee Movie this weekend, lol. But really this is appropriate because I'm here to show a little support for one of our witchy sisters out here in blognland. Sandi from Crafty Sandi Blog has opened her own Etsy shop and besides her really cool usual stock she is featuring a very cool little invention of hers. Spell Tarts!

   These little scented soy wax tarts are a great way for those of us who can't have candles burning at all times of day  for special reasons (like little pyromaniacs that think playing with the candle thingie will be fun but will in reality set the house on fire). The backs are flat so that you can carve runes, sigils, or spells into their backs and then just pop them into the cauldron or tart burner and viola! They even come charged with intent so it's great for that quick go to spell.
   So go check her out and lets support another witchy entrepreneur going out there and being upstanding and respectable and stuff! (especially when they come up with really cool ideas that I am totally jealous of, lol)
    Also Sandi donates a portion of all proceeds from her shop to Domestic violence and abuse causes so please go check her out, she is definitely a witch deserving of our support!

Travel Log 6-22: Quick Post and A Couple of Monkeys

     The Solstice went fine once I pumped myself full of caffeine. Lots of laughing (only a little bit of which was maniacal) and fun was had. Didn't get to bake the bread, but hey more cookies are always a good thing (shush diet, your opinion doesn't count in this matter). 
Just a quick little pop in to let you know that Witchy Thrifting has a new entry- with pictures!
   And speaking of pictures here's some of the pictures I took at the Santa Ana Zoo this past week on our last adventure- Nature shots are so not my thing, lol.

"Ooh, look at those strange specimens out there. They have some strange sort of flashy box and the little ones keep hopping around the big one and asking for candy.."

" Hold still?? Are you insane woman those are poison dart frogs!"

"I think I can hot wire this one"

"Look Grandpa he's climbing why can't I?"

" No Mommy I can't look at you for pictures there are MONKEYS!"

"Being the older brother is pretty sweet sometimes, especially if it means you get to see the spider monkeys better."

"The tamarins are sooo cute- look at the babies on it's back!"

     Now we're off to the Children's Museum for today's adventure!

Travel Log 6-21: Sleep is For the Weak...

   It's Midsummer, yay!
   Last night I was up late  dancing around with the fairies and was still so full of pixie dust I had a hard time sleeping once I did slip into bed (ok I was playing the new Alice game and lost track of time, but it sounds better to blame it on the fairies). Which is why now that my personal pixies dragged me out of bed extra early I feel like a zombie fresh out of the freezer. The fact that they are not just barely up and stumbling around bleary eyed like I am, but instead are at full running through the house awake and yelling stage makes me rather queasy.
   So I had this whole plan for today that would involve baking and cooking and playing games then having a mini bonfire in the fire pit this evening. I wonder if I can get all that accomplished curled up in a corner whimpering...
    Blessed Midsummer/ Litha to all of you out there (and Winter solstice to those in the other hemisphere!). I'm hoping that I can guzzle enough pepsi to get in the spirit!